Trip to the US

8 Months Old

Holy cow! Max & Derek just keep getting older ;) The difference with this month is that they actually look older. For a while there they seemed to just maintain, but this month I can actually see that they are longer, feel that they are heavier, and watch them getting smarter.

They are both sitting up with assistance and even standing tall with your support when put on their feet. Derek can stay straight up for quite some time. He's really good at locking his knees. 

Both boys are also getting heavier. It's not so easy to lug them around, but I still do it. One in the carrier (usually Max because he's bigger), and the other on my hip (Derek). We love to get out of the house that way. 

I also noticed that their hair is getting longer! I see it more on the top of their heads, especially when Kurt gives them a side comb. 

We recently bought them a walker, & they love it :) It's them being more mobile before they're actually mobile. I found that Max enjoys it the most because he goes everywhere. The other day I found him looking out the porch window.

This month we've also watched them recognize people, specifically mom & dad. Derek became very needy near the end of the month & would only be content when I held him. It's kind of a nice feeling to be wanted, but there is this sense of exhaustion from being needed all the time.

They began enjoying each other too. Kurt & I have spent a lot of time just watching them watch each other :) It's so much fun to see their expressions & hear them "talk." They'll look at each other and screech. Haha... It's just so stinking cute! 

I think I say this every month, but I'm pretty sure they're teething. Everything goes into the mouth, and when it's in the mouth, it's being destroyed. They are biting really hard on anything & everything. We have a stock pile of teething rings in the freezer. Also, they've been fussier than usual, are eating less, and not sleeping good. I haven't seen any teeth or even white spots, but I don't know what else it could be.

We started rice cereal a while back, but got a huge supply of baby food from a recent team! Our first pick was organic sweet potates. It did not go so well :) They both looked and acted like we were giving them the nastiest tasting thing ever! However, the look on their faces were priceless. The next day we opted for bananas & oranges (something a little sweeter). After a day or so of trying it, Derek began eating like a pro. Max was still not very fond of the flavor, so we tried some blueberry & pear for him. He didn't mind that as much. 

Their personalities are definitely more apparent and each do different things.

Derek: He is super social. He smiles for everyone. He loves to look at his brother. He enjoys a nice cold teething ring. He has so much fun playing in the activity center. His favorite person is mommy. He always wants to sit up. He doesn't like to put clothes on. He hates being by himself, but plays well with Max. Naps are normally a little more difficult for him. He loves to talk & is usually the first to make a new sound. He can be feisty (like his mom), but has become rather content lately. He only gets really upset every once in a while.

Max: He tends to be more serious, but has such a big smile. He will play with anyone & let anyone hold him. He's content to be by himself. He enjoys making Derek laugh & laughing at Derek. His favorite toy is the walker. He loves the "freedom" it gives him. Noises are his specialty, anything loud. He has fun playing video games with daddy. Nap time is not normally an issue, but sleeping through the night has been a challenge. He can get pretty stubborn & throw a tantrum when something doesn't go his way. He does this frequently, but it's usually more of a small thing not a major breakdown.

It feels like there are so many other things that I could write, but it would make this post WAY too long :) To say the least, this month has been eventful. Each day, I am more and more amazed at how much I enjoy being around them now :) It's like a whole new life, & I love it! I can even see that Kurt is so close to feeling the same way.

Happy 8 Months Max & Derek!

The Results

We saw Dr. McGregor on Wednesday, February 4th. Her diagnosis was similar to the first doctor we saw here in San Pedro. She said that they boys can't see out of their right eye. Her understanding was that there were bands that destroyed the retina from being able to create a picture to send to the brain. However, she wanted to get a better look at the eye to see what could have caused this. According to her, it was either genetic or some form of infection that destroyed their vision. Since we were working with a limited time frame, they were able to schedule a post-op for the following day to get some pictures of the boy's eyes.

I'm not sure how to describe our feelings at this time other than to say we were extremely heartbroken. Anyone can probably imagine how difficult it was to hear the results. You pray for a miracle, but it's not the one you wanted. It hurts. You want to go back to how it was before you knew. You want them to be perfect physically & mentally without defect. It is obvious that God has not healed their eyes, but He has provided for us in so many other ways. *some of those ways are listed below*

Surgery
Thursday, February 5th, Dr. McGregor and the retina surgeon got a better look at the boy's eyes. They started with Derek & took pictures of both his right & left eye. The results of the left eye came back completely healthy; however, the right eye showed a significant retina fold (not a band). Due to the results from Derek's right eye, they decided to do an additional dye test on Max. The dye test would give the doctors a better view of the blood vessels in the back of the eye. This is necessary to see if there is an infection in the good eye (left eye) that would need to be monitored. They chose to do the test on Max because his right eye looked worse in the beginning, meaning that if there is an infection in the left eye, it would be most likely to be found on Max. Max's results came back the same as Derek's just slightly greater. Max has a healthy left eye, but an even bigger retina fold in the right. Both folds have the same outcome.

Results
Max & Derek have no vision in their right eye. Technically, they still have peripheral vision, but to what extent we don't know. We have been told that there is nothing we can do to help the right eye because the fold has completely destroyed the part of the eye that sends a picture to the brain. With no picture work with, there is nothing to strengthen.

Going Forward
In August, both boys will be fitted for glasses. They basically need glasses just to protect their good eye. However, Max is a little nearsighted in his left eye, so his glasses will also correct that. We know it's going to be a good thing, but yet, at the same time, it's hard to digest. So many people will say that they look cute in glasses, but it's not that simple as a parent. I think we'll both be struggling again come August.

My Thoughts
It's not the end of the world, but sometimes it feels just awful. I cry. I think about what it is like for them. I wonder what problems we'll have in the future because of it. What things will it affect? I know they'll be able to play sports, walk, drive, etc, but will there be extra hurdles to achieve these things? All these thoughts make it difficult to see the truth at times, but the truth is, it's not perfect vision that I desire most for our boys. What I want more than anything is for them to walk in a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, living their lives to glorify Him.


*remembering how God worked*

• The Pediatric Ophthalmology center, they are booked 2 months out. However, Dr. McGregor offered to see us on her day off within a week.
• We found tickets, at such short notice, for an amazing price.
• The day we flew there was a serious snow storm in the Northeast, but our flight from Atlanta to Detroit left on time. It was the only flight headed to the Northeast out of Atlanta that didn't cancel.
• In Columbus, we were shown so much hospitality. A great friend provided supper for us Tuesday night. Another friend offered their home to us while they were gone, which allowed my mom, Kurt's parents & us to stay in the same place together. 
• The doctors were able to schedule the post-op for the following day on Thursday. This was a huge blessing considering the limited time frame we were dealing with.
• The retina surgeon came in specifically for us, on his day off, with less than 24 hours notice.
• The boy's left eyes were completely healthy. There would be no need for constant monitoring meaning that we don't have to make monthly visits.
• The post-op went smoothly, & we all could fly back on Saturday. We were really worried about being able to go home so quickly. There was a good possibility that we would have had to extend our trip, which we didn't want to do because my parents were flying to the Dominican to see us the same day. We actually booked the same flights as them so we could have extra hands to help on the way home.

 Surgery day. They did really well under the circumstances. (Left to right: Max & Derek)

The Gift of Sight

Between months 5 & 6, we noticed that the boys were not looking straight at things. At month 7, we decided most of those nuances should have been corrected by now. So, on January 15th, I took them to see the eye doctor here in San Pedro. She said that there is cause for concern with Max's vision in his right eye & wanted to see us at her location in Santo Domingo. As I stepped into the house after this visit, I realized the seriousness of the situation. Kurt & I both felt all the unknowns weighing on our hearts.

Our visit to Santo Domingo, that following Monday, brought to light the fears we felt over the weekend. The doctor got a better look at both their eyes & said they each have the same issue. They can't see out of their right eye & there was nothing we could do to correct it. We could only work on strengthening the left eye. Talk about devastation.

After discussing the results, Kurt & I felt it was necessary to get a second opinion. We had some doubts about the first doctor's diagnosis. How could it be possible that they can't see ANYTHING? Why is there NOTHING we can do to help strengthen the bad eye, even a little? There were so many questions we still had. So, we visited an eye doctor at Score in Juan Dolio to see what he thought. Of course, he had a different idea about it all & said that there is no cause for concern. They boys are still developing, & they have the ability to see things & grab whatever is placed in front of them. Kurt & I agreed with this doctor, but still felt uneasy about it all. 

The next step was to talk to a doctor in the states & get their opinion of the whole thing. Kurt's cousin, Matt, gave us the name of their pediatric Ophthalmologist. We contacted the hospital & sent in the information we had on the situation. They responded with a few options, but couldn't offer a real diagnosis without assessing the boys themselves. It felt like we were back at the beginning with all the unknowns still out there. This lead us to make a trip back to the states to see Dr. Mary Lou McGregor a Pediatric Ophthalmology at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus.

7 Months Old

I have this "oh my!" moment at least once a week when I look at the boys. It still feels surreal to have twins :) When I stop & think about what I thought my life would be like at this age, it is NOTHING close to what it actually is! God's plan was so much better than mine. We have experienced 7 months with our boys, & our connection to them is that much stronger. 

This month was our month to really enjoy being around Max & Derek. They would respond to us with smiles & laughs, making our time with them even more special. They began playing with us as we interacted with them. We are so thrilled to be on this side of things :)

What new things have happened this month... 

|Noises|

Both the boys have added to their "vocabulary." Not only that, but it has only gotten louder! We've heard lots of grunts, screams, gasps, and even some consonants. They get super loud when they see someone watching. I feel like it's my first glimpse into all the chaos that will ensue once they're running around the house.

|People|

They've gotten better at noticing people. When you walk by, you can actually feel them watching you :) It's a fun new development because it also means that they enjoy playing with you on the mat. We've gone from just entertaining to actually playing together. They know that you're there, & they want you to be there. It's the best feeling EVER!

|Wellness|

They are both very healthy & growing steadily. Max weighs over 15 pounds & Derek isn't too far behind at 14 pounds 10 oz. They're the same height - 25 inches. The one thing we did notice was their eyes, they were still deviating & going cross-eyed. So, we took them to the doctor here to have it checked.

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It's been a fun month & were excited to say we've made it this far :) Their personalities are stronger, but we have a feeling they'll be more apparent in the months to come. We love them so much & continue to remind them that Jesus loves them the MOST! 

Happy 7 Months Max & Derek!